he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
