wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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