I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize