I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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