The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
