she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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