bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
