Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
