North Korea, Best Korea!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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