Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
