honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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