he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
