My hand turned me down
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
