Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
