Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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