This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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