Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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