I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
