i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
