At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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