And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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