Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
