Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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