Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
