if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
