so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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