did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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