my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
