i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
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A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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