Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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