I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
