We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
