Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
