did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
