I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
