Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
