We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
