Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
P.S. I can't hear my feet
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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