Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
