I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I can text with my tongue
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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