It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize