Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
