i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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