do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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