I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
