Non-Jews are for practice
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
