I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize