I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
