I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
BRING THE BAGELS
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
