So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
