Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
