You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
