Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
