You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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