so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm passing your future prison.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
