Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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