Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
