so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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