i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize