4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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