Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
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The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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