I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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