Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
