Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
