Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
