Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
