her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize