I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
