is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The best revenge is premature balding
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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